Just A Moment
by bbgirl17555
Summary: A New John and Natalie Drabble Series written within Canon. Updated 9/20/08: Favors
1. Moment One: I Miss You

**Just a Moment**

_A/N: Another Drabble Series because obviously TIIC won't do it right_.

**Moment One: I Miss You**

_Set: After Christian and John get into a fight over Talia. John finds a moment with Natalie as she leaves._

"Hey" He calls her, needing a moment, just another moment.

She pauses, the streetlight casting shadows about her.

He doesn't know where to start, doesn't understand how this ended. It's all so muddled now, and she is hazy beneath his gaze. And he wonders how she slipped through his fingers.

"Its okay, John, really." He knows its not. She draws herself away from him, a moth escaping the flame. "You could tell me, you know."

"I know."

"I just…" She fumbles for words. "I miss you."

He watches her walk away, an old wound rips anew. "I miss you, too"


	2. Moment Two: Common Ground

**Moment Two: Common Ground**

_Set: At the police station, when Talia tries to convince John to press charges against Christian for the fight at Capricorn. _

John doesn't even listen to Talia, not really. He knows Cris isn't sorry but he won't press charges. He could, the dead man came back and blew his world apart.

But he won't.

He feels for Cris. John really does. She burns like fire, only they know how cold the world is without her near.

John doubts he is the only man that goes to bed longing to hold her, holding a phone in her stead, six dialed numbers and only willpower to hang up.

They have common ground. They lost Natalie.

And John can't think of a worse fate.


	3. Moment Three: Gimme More

Set on 4/25/08 Natalie thinks about Jared and tells him it's over

_Set on_ _4/25/08_ _Natalie thinks about Jared and tells him it's over._

**Moment Three: Gimme More ****  
**  
Jared. She can't understand it, he is almost perfect for her and Natalie cares, she does. But in the end she wants more.

She wants triggered calloused hands brushing the small of her back. She wants her fingers tangled in his long locks. She wants his breath hot against her ear.

She wants a pool stick in her hand and him at her side, a cold beer and someone that understands.

She wants a challenge beyond the boardroom.

She wants the fight, wants the fire. She wants them.

In the end she wants more.


	4. Moment Four: Old Habits

**Moment Four: Old Habits**

_Set during the shoot out at Ramsey's_

It's too familiar. The pain seers but doesn't shock, an old friend. He makes his way down the stairs; air catching before he collapses, phone in his grip.

For a moment he forgets. For a moment there is only one number that comes into his mind. Seven digits seared into his memory, his lifeline.

Seven digits.

Hers.

He thinks of hospital visits and games of mini pool. How her touch always eased the ache.

But he knows he can't. There is too much danger there. The gun men are only a small part. The real danger is being with him.


	5. Moment Five: His Place

**Moment Five: His Place**

_Set when Clint is yelling at Natalie at the police station over Jared and David._

It's not his place, not anymore. He knows that. It's why he stays back, perched close to his office, teeth clenched.

He doesn't look. He doesn't want to see the heartbreak in her window eyes. He knows those fears, not belonging, not being loved.

He knows Natalie.

The words get sharper and just when he's heard enough and can't bare to stand by any longer a voice pipes up.

Defends her. Saves her.

That's his song. That's his girl that Jared puts a protective hand on.

And John would give anything to have his place back. His place beside her.


	6. Moment Six: Neighbors

_Set: When Natalie moves her and Jared into the Angel Square Hotel, because John must have seen her at some point._

**Moment Six: Neighbors**

"Hey." Natalie smiled in reply, John's presence catching her off guard. "You're staying here now?"

Natalie nodded. "Roxy is letting us." The word was sharp, different. Once upon a time us had meant him and her.

"I heard what happened."

She recoiled; she couldn't talk about it, not yet. "Well anyway I guess I am back here again. Not exactly the way I pictured moving back in here."

"How did you picture it?" The question was deeper than the words.

Natalie wanted to say the words, but she couldn't. She couldn't risk her heart, not again. "Just differently, I guess."


	7. Moment Seven: Corrections

_Set: After Nash's funeral. John runs into Natalie and offers a correction._

**Moment Seven: Corrections**

Trailer trash; the words rang in her ears like gun shots, piercing something deep inside.

"Hey, you okay?" John's voice cut through her thoughts.

"Yeah, just a rough day."

"Hey, you know you can tell me anything."

"It's nothing. Jess said some stuff. It's not important." Natalie insisted.

"What stuff?"

The words came without thought. "She blames me for Nash's death. She said I was trailer trash and I couldn't even defend myself. She's right."

John brushed away a tear. "No." He replied solemnly. "She's not. You're not trash. You're amazing." And for a moment she could almost believe him.


	8. Moment Eight: Worry

**Moment Eight: Worry**

_A/N: Set after Vicki's car crash (Obviously TIIC can't remember how to write their characters, someone cuts the breaks on Natalie's car and no one even investigates? Really people? Grrr.)_

"Hey." His presence shocked her.

"Hey." She replied. "What are you doing here?" There was an evaluating spark in his eyes that she tried to hide from. He was the only one that always saw her, really saw her.

"I heard about the breaks being cut on your car. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

She thought how he didn't fit with Llanfair, neither of them did. They didn't do white gable estates, they did neon lights and dirty corners. "You worried about me?" There was a soft smile in her voice.

John answered with one word. "Always."


	9. Moment Nine: Cheating

**Moment Nine: Cheating**

_Set: During and after Blair and John on the roof. (I didn't watch. Gag. I just sorta thought this would help take away any sting)_

It wasn't cheating. Natalie was with Jared. John was free to do as he pleased but in the back of his mind he knew. This was their roof, their place.

That's why he sorta liked it, payback for the surging pain he felt when he saw them together. His hand on her back and a smile for him alone, smiles that used to belong to John.

Blair didn't burn. She didn't push and pull and make him love. That's why he sorta liked it.

It wasn't cheating.

But in the end Blair wasn't Natalie and that's why John hated himself.


	10. Moment Ten: Siblings

**Moment Ten: Siblings**

_Set: When John goes with a warrant to search Todd's and Jessica is there._

"John." Jessica. John tries not to act shocked to see her with Todd.

He can't help but compare her to Natalie. They are so different. Jessica looks like an angel, her blonde hair lying against her shoulders. Natalie is the devil with tempting curves and a come hither smile that brings stronger men than him to their knees.

He is almost certain Jessica is faking, but not certain enough. He won't let anything happen to her. After all she was almost his sister in law, and in the back of his heart he hopes that one day she will be.


	11. Moment Eleven: Breathe

**Moment Eleven: Breathe **

_Set: The initial reaction to Jared telling John that Natalie has been kidnapped (Tess has her locked up). I was very unhappy with what was show on today's episode ( 9/17/08) and there will be two more drabbles to help fix what TIIC decided to write._

Natalie. Kidnapped. The words ring hallow in John's ears, as he tries not to hear them, tries to pretend its fine.

Jared is worried, concern evident and John wants to hit him, see blood trickle from his face. He's not good enough for Natalie- no one is.

For a moment John can't move, his face- stone cold, none of the inner panic seeping out.

Not again. Not her.

And he thinks this must be karma come to collect. God doesn't punish him, only those he loves.

And he loves her.

Natalie. Kidnapped.

And John has to remind himself to breathe.


	12. Moment Twelve: The Letter

**Moment Twelve: The Letter**

_Set: When Jared tells John something has happened to Natalie and shows him the letter that Tess forced her to write._

John skims the pages of the letter Jared foists in his hand. Her familiar script penned across the pages. He would know her writing anywhere. The way her letters loop together and that slant. In a drawer somewhere he has tucked away a grocery list, the only thing she left behind.

And he's secretly glad. He wishes nothing more than her well rid of Jared. He tries not to think so hard, tries to make her voice fit. He wants to believe this, needs to believe this- because if something has happened to her…

He has no reason to live.


	13. Moment Thirteen: Name

**Moment Thirteen: Name**

_Set: 9/18/08 Tess tells Natalie about how she plans to seduce Jared and torments Natalie._

"Love you like... Seth? Christian? John?" She taunts with a sinister smile, drawing out the last name, relishing the look of pain on Natalie's face.

There is an ache in Natalie's breast at his name. She tries not to think of him. He lives in his world and she lives in hers.

She has Jared. She loves Jared. But she doesn't kid herself.

Jared isn't John. It's not what they had. John and Natalie were something different entirely. She loves Jared but she can never picture a day when his name brings a lump to her heart like John does.


	14. Moment Fourteen: Favors

**Moment Fourteen: Favors**

_Set: 9/19/08 John is on his way to Columbia to follow a lead on Cris. He talks to Bo and asks for a favor.  
_

John thinks he should feel better, that the ball of tension in his stomach should subside.Bo has agreed to get his computer back. Still the relief does not come. And he knows why.

His Natalie.

"Thanks. One last thing." He knows he shouldn't ask, Bo has already granted him a favor and suddenly he worries that maybe he used his miracle.

"If I hear from Natalie, I will let you know."

Of course Bo knows. John is certain that almost everyone knows he still loves her, everyone except Natalie. And John prays he will get a chance to tell her.


End file.
